Reminiscences: Musings in Memoir — Prompt #2

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PROMPT #2 — GREEN

It’s not easy being green.

Kermit the Frog

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Green: It’s the color of envy, of grass, of spring leaves, and of emeralds. Vegetables can be named Green __________ (green peppers, green onions, green tomatoes, etc.) or can be considered “leafy greens.” Green can be putrid or verdant, lush or waning, jewel-dazzling or puke-sick. It is a color the runs the gamut from chartreuse to evergreen and back again from seafoam to mint to malachite to myrtle. In nature, green is indicative of growth — of newness, of spring. In man-made adaptations, green can mean any number of things:

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Middle-Age Masturbation Hacks

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For those of you who have been here a while (and have been paying attention), this will come as no surprise. For the rest of you: Sex – particularly of the penetrative variety – is of extremely little interest to me right now, primarily because my peri-menopausal libido has decided to join an expedition to the Arctic, so what little lovin’ my body is getting is mostly coming (heh) at odd times and by my own hand{s}.

And y’know… Sometimes these hands of mine are like, “STOP it already! You’re nowhere near cumming and you’re gonna give me carpel tunnel!”

So in case any of the rest of you — perhaps in my middle-aged age bracket and perhaps not — ever experience the same press press, rub rub, ohforfuck’ssake never.MIND kind of masturbatory experience, I thought I’d share a few of the things that work for me when I find myself in that “Welp! I guess I’m not gonna cum after all…” situation.

Ready?

‘Kaythen…

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Clotheslined

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In the sad excuse for ‘sport’ that is the WWE, a clothesline is a move by which one opponent cross-arms the other over the neck, thereby knocking them down.

I was clotheslined once, but not quite like that.

Oh, I was knocked down all right.

Nearly – or so I thought at the time – down for the count.

However, there were no wrestling moves involved.

Oh, no. My ‘clotheslining’ involved *actual* clothesline.

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Let’s chat. :)

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Pull up a keyboard; let’s have a conversation.

I’ll start. 😉

See, during the month of April, one of my fellow bloggers nominated me for a blogging award. And while I don’t really _do_ awards, I *do* do (sounds like doo-doo! DOH!) sharing.

So I thought I’d take some of the questions Cindi asked me and answer them here, then ask you (yes, YOU!) some in turn. 🙂

She asked me ten things, so I’m going to answer five of them then ask you five things, and you can choose what you want to chat about. (Or choose something else entirely! Tell me all about your moose mating call practice or how you are crocheting toilet paper in case there is a shortage in a bathroom near you. Whatever you want.)

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